Stand By Me

Posted on Sat Mar 30th, 2019 @ 5:09pm by Staff Sergeant Jeremiah Corvus & Staff Sergeant Creighton Arcadia
Edited on on Sat Mar 30th, 2019 @ 5:26pm

Mission: Interlude 1
Location: Cheyenne Base - Hospital Wing

Jeremy felt stupid being pushed through the base on a gurney, his foot exposed except for the roll of bandage O’Connor put on it after they’d woken from whatever the fake CDC doctors did to him. Now that they were back home, though, he wasn’t sure if the swelling and discoloration he saw was there or just his overactive imagination. He’d got two bags of antibiotics, why should he worry about infection now?

Except, he was. Very worried about it.

They pulled into an exam room where Jeremy, with the help of others, moved to the bed. He sunk against the hard, firm mattress and leaned back just long enough for one of the nurses to finish slicing the leg of his pants, fully exposing his leg from the hemline of his boxer briefs down to his swollen, purpling ankle.

He didn’t like this. He especially didn’t like being alone in here with no one but the medical staff. He didn’t know them well, even the one nurse from the last time he was here (was that really only days ago?) was gone.

“What happened here?” the doctor asked, manipulating the foot, toes, whatever. Jeremy tried hard to keep the discomfort and pain he was causing from showing, but knew he was failing miserably at keeping it hidden.

“We were attacked by wolves,” he said, gripping the side rails to the point where his forearms burned and his knuckles were as white as the newly risen moon. “One of them got me.”

“We need to get this cleaned, and a round of antibiotics,” the doctor said as he glanced at the chart. Jeremy wasn’t sure if O’Connor told them everything she gave him. He closed his eyes for a moment trying to recall every bit of treatment. “It looks like we have a severe infection here. An animal bite?” the doctor only glanced at Jeremy, which he found irritating. Less so than hearing what was being said. Lying back he tried unhearing those words. “We need a round of rabies protocol as well,” the doctor ordered.

“Rabies?” Jeremy asked, sitting up straight and biting back a strangled yelp as he moved his foot. “Isn’t that...don’t you have to...in the stomach?” he stammered as he sat straight up, his arms wrapped across his stomach as if protecting it from impending injections. He looked around. “No, it can’t be...not...rabies. Not in the stomach.”

“Not since before you were born,” one of the nurses said. She wasn’t old and not young, but some magical land in the middle. Her touch was cool on his forearm as she smiled, soothingly, to him. “We’ll give you a shot in the foot, then the rest can be administered in the arm or the tushie. Which, I was kind of hoping I’d see dancing again.” She smiled as she dropped a wink. What it meant, though, was open to interpretation. “You’ll be fine, no problem at all. Barely feel a thing. I’m betting a tall, strapping Airman like you isn’t afraid of anything.”

“I am, I’m very afraid,” he said, glancing at his foot again. The doctor draped his foot below the ankle and the last bite while he moved a tray of instruments around. Several bottles with small, flexable straws were lined up. After Jeremy worked on Ravi’s hand and things were settled, but before they started breaking camp, Jeremy put on a fresh pair of socks over the bandaged foot then put his boot back on. It was torn up, but still serviceable and would help stabilize and protect his foot as they made their way back to the Gate and the grisly find there. It also compressed it as the infection worsened, causing the flesh to swell.

“Where’s Ravi?” he asked, “He’s my friend, his hand was torn open. Is he okay?” he asked the nurse, trying to distract himself from what was being decided at the end of the bed. “Did he get infected too?” He couldn’t stand the idea that he’d lose his foot and Ravi would lose his hand, because of his own stupid actions.

“You need to remain still, Airman,” the doctor said while he kept doing something which Jeremy found painful. No matter what he tried he was reacting to the doctor’s work. “If you can’t, I’ll have to sedate you to do what we can here.”

“No,” Jeremy moaned, his eyes going wide as he stared between his exposed foot and the doctor. “I’m sorry, I’ll try harder just, don’t put me out, please.” He’d been in the exam room during medical training and then on assignments. Every single person that was sedated and had a questionable limb injury woke up an amputee.

The doctor stopped and stared at Jeremy, his head cocked to the side for a moment. For his part Jeremy was trying hard to keep himself under control. He knew about the injury on the planet, and yes, Ravi was right that he risked further injury the more he walked on it, but some things couldn’t be helped. Jeremy shook his head, biting his lip and trying hard to keep his composure together. “Please,” he whispered.

“Administer a local,” the doctor finally said as he moved toward the head of the bed. “I’m not making any promises here, Sergeant. If it doesn’t respond to antibiotics, it may become necessary to amputate. We’ll do what we can, but if it means saving your life, I’ll remove the foot.”

Jeremy couldn’t hold it any longer and he crumbled into himself. The doctor gave his shoulder a single squeeze as he felt a series of needlepricks around his leg, a few inches below the knee.

[Later]

Jeremy lie in the bed, the hospital gown loose around his torso, his lower half covered in thin, white hospital blankets. The television played something but he wasn’t watching anything. He had it on only for the noise. His phone vibrated on the table next to the bed. He glanced at it for a moment before turning away. Halfheartedly he changed the channel on the television to something else. What it was didn’t matter.

The buzzing stopped and the phone’s screen went dark again.

Jeremy let out a heavy sigh. He shouldn’t be avoiding phone calls, especially not from his family but the last thing he wanted was to have to try to explain to them why he was in a hospital. What incredible bounding leap of stupidity dropped him here, in this predicament. How could he explain it? How did wild animals break into the middle of the Air Force Academy where he was ‘teaching’.

Not that he intended to lie to his family, but his duty assignment was more than top secret and his parents didn’t have clearance. But he had to tell them something about why he was in Colorado. He flipped the channel again.

He didn’t even know what time it was, the room was dark but that could have been just artificial darkness from curtains and window coverings. There were a couple soft bulbs still shining in the ceiling, but it did little to completely chase away the gloom. Which part of the base was he in? The deep mountain SGC part? The outer, more normal part of the base or the base closer to Colorado Springs? He didn’t know. Eventually they had given him a sedative only because he kept reacting to the doctor’s ministrations. The doctor promised Jeremy would be okay.

He didn’t feel okay. Not by a long shot.

The nurse left the Jell-O cup and a plastic spoon in case his appetite came back, but he doubted that would happen any time soon. He lost track how long it’s been since the meal tray was brought in and then taken out again. Was it even dinner or was he just remembering it as dinner? He clicked the channel button again.

“Hey.” The light from the doorway was filled for several moments, then Arcadia entered the room. “How are you doing?”

Jeremy just shook his head, not sure and not bothering to care if the gesture could be seen. He thought he felt his foot twitch.

Jeremy saw Arcadia’s gaze dropping to the end of the bed, the end covered in blankets. He didn’t think the other Staff Sergeant meant to be staring but it was happening anyway.

“I ran into Mama,” Arcadia said, setting a plastic box ontop his metal binder. “She was worried you wouldn’t get enough to eat in here.” He glanced at the small plastic cup of Jell-O, untouched. Arcadia forced a smile. “She sent along some of the cheeseburger mac and cheese. She said it’s your favorite.”

“Not hungry,” Jeremy said, knowing he imagined his foot twitching this time. He was watching. The blanket never moved.
“Really? The human garbage disposal isn’t hungry?”

Jeremy just shook his head as he changed the channel again. There had to be something on television that would help him to not think about phantom twitching.

“She also sent chocolate chip cookies,” Arcadia said, tapping the plastic box. “I told her she had nothing to worry about, the hospital had plenty of bland, tasteless mush.”

“Yeah,” Jeremy muttered before letting out a deep sigh. “Why are you here?” he asked, finally looking directly at Arcadia.

Arcadia moved a chair next to the bed, so that he faced the younger man. “I’m here to visit with you. I thought you could use a friend right now.”

Jeremy went back to staring blankly at the television. It was easier. It helped him pretend they had numbed all of him, not just his leg. “None of the others came,” he said, his voice a grated whisper in the darkened room. “No one from the team,” he continued. But the last part went unsaid least of all Major Asher. He was probably sitting in some other hospital room making sure that Shae’s scratches were doing okay. Heaven forfend she should suffer an instant of discomfort. “They’re probably busy though.” He didn’t want to think they just didn’t care. That the sacrifice he made for them wasn’t worth a little bit of return time.

“Yeah, about that,” Arcadia said, picking up his binder. “It’s probably because of this.” He removed a single sheet of paper and held it out for Jeremy. Jeremy glanced at it then changed the channel on the television while disregarding it. He didn’t know what it was and, honestly, at the moment, he didn’t care. He didn’t care about much of anything. He flipped the channel again.

“Unfortunately, that’s not something you can ignore,” Arcadia said, setting the paper pack on the binder. “It’s an order to sit for an OSI interview into an investigation on the last mission.”

“Okay,” Jeremy said. He frowned at the television then flipped the channel again.

“Damnit,” Arcadia said as he stood and took the remote from Jeremy. He turned off the television and sat back down. “Crow, this is damned serious! OSI is investigating the mission. They determined those CDC people were fakes and nobody here knew anything about them being there! I know, I drew guard shifts!”

“I know,” Jeremy said, staring down at his hands in his lap. “I know they weren’t...real…” He shifted in the bed, dragging his numbed up right leg into a new position. He shook his head, avoiding eye contact with Arcadia as much as he ignored the food Mama sent over. “I told Major Asher they were fakes but...I guess he already knew.”

“OSI is investigating-” Arcadia started.

“Why didn’t he tell us then?” Jeremy asked, flinging away a piece of blanket lint with violent fury. “If he already knew about them, why didn’t he tell us?” He shook his head again then reached for the remote. Arcadia took it from the side table and held onto it. Jeremy slumped back against the bed. He wished there was at least a window to look out. Why weren’t there any darned windows!

“What’s going on here?” Arcadia asked. “What would it matter if he told you earlier?”

Jeremy slumped in the bed, just staring at the end of it. He tried flexing his toes but...he couldn’t feel them. “I bet he told Shae,” he muttered. “When he went off chasing after her. She’s the reason it happened, you know.” He spit out the last words. But the anger seemed to vitalize him in a way nothing else had since Arcadia came in. “Did he reprimand her when we got there and she walked off toward unknown forces? What, that doesn’t put the team in danger if we have to go do a damned rescue cause she wanted to play the big Friendly Hero?”

“I don’t understand what that has to do with-”

“She’s the one that brought the wolves!” Jeremy said, spittle flying out. “We were fine until she ran off, having another one of her “oh everything is so strange and different and I must go off crying about everything”! I’m so sick of her crying about everything. I’m so sick of hearing “I don’t understand”. Sick of Asher running about like some moonstruck fool trying to get into her pants! Sick of all of it!” He was nearly shouting by then. A nurse came by and stuck her head in, but that was the extent of it after Arcadia waved her away. Arcadia was shocked by the level of anger being displayed, but there was something else. If his CIT training was worth anything, it was at least being able to hear an undercurrent that was trying to come out.

“Jeremy,” he said, moving closer. “I don’t think this is about Shae.”

“No, it is! I’m forced to apologize to her, it was made an order because she started crying when I told her about the banishment, for you know,” he glared at Arcadia, “people who get removed from the command.”

“Jeremy,” Arcadia said, as the staff sergeant seemed to stop there. “That was a joke. I didn’t know you took it to be that true. Bellows and I were just kidding around. You don’t know how bad we feel when we found out.”

“Doesn’t matter, does it? Because she goes crying to Asher and now I’m a scumbag and I’m ordered to have to apologize but she lies to me and I’m the one in trouble again. She goes running off without even a word to anyone else, putting her in danger and we’re supposed to just accept it?” He was back on the anger train. “She goes running off again and does he even give a damn that we needed him? That maybe we needed some guidance? No!”

He sat up now, grabbed the plastic spoon from the Jell-O and snapped it, then began snapping the pieces in half as he talked. “No, she’s crying so he goes running after her. She’s crying and goes running off and then what? We’re in danger over worm-headed damned Jaffa and he goes running off after her! I told him I needed to talk to him. I told him!”

Arcadia moved closer, remaining silent, listening. Jeremy wasn’t looking at him, or anything other than the pile of plastic pieces he formed in his lap. They were too small to easily snap anymore. “But he didn’t give a fornicating darn! He didn’t care about what O’Connor and I were going through! Shae cries and the rest of us are tossed aside like we’re worthless!”

He scooped up the plastic pieces and flung them against the wall. He reached for the Jell-O but Arcadia scooped it up before Jeremy could get to it. “I’m sure that’s not-”

“I had to prove to him that there was something wrong,” Jeremy said, shaking his head. “I had to make him listen to me!”

“Jeremy,” Arcadia said, taking a breath, not sure how to say what needed to be asked. “What happened?”

“I had to do it. To prove to him that there was a danger to us all. I thought he wouldn’t listen any other way.” Jeremy suddenly slumped again, like a puppet with its strings cut, as if the anger were the only thing animating him. Arcadia wanted to move in further, but he wasn’t sure how Jeremy would take that. He couldn’t be sure because of the dim lighting, but what little ambient light there was seemed to glisten in tracks down his cheeks.

“Do what, Jeremy?” Arcadia asked.

“We had to stay on the damned planet longer cause she had to go ‘hunting’. Cause our food wasn’t ‘good enough’! I’m sitting there, festering with a virulent infection and we have to stay there! Wasn’t it enough that she brought the wolves to us in the first place?” Jeremy asked, glaring openly now at Arcadia. “Wasn’t that enough? Or was that my punishment? Let me get infected so I’d get kicked out and then I’m gone?”

Arcadia wasn’t a psychologist, just a security officer that served for some time in the military. He had an understanding of the military thought process that those outside of it would never have. He had an understanding of avoidance from his own personal history. After his wife died he was the King of Avoidance. “Jeremy, I think you need to talk to someone about this. About what happened.”

“Yeah, that’s right, I missed my appointment with psyche services cause we’re still there! Then I’m in the hospital when it’s reset and,” he reached onto the table and got another sheet of paper. “Now, I’m in trouble again! If I miss the next one, I’m up on disciplinary charges!”

“That’s not a bad thing, then,” Arcadia said. “I think, I know, you need someone you can talk to, safely.”

“Yeah, right, sure. So I can also get a loony bin discharge, right?”

“Not at all, sounds like you need someone to talk to, to help you figure things out.”

“I tried talking to Asher, it didn’t work! He doesn’t listen to me! That’s why I…” Jeremy stopped, clenching his jaw.

“Jeremy, I feel you want to tell me something. Whatever it is, I’m not going to judge and, I think you’re going to feel much better when you let it out.”

“No,” Jeremy said, shaking his head. He had a need to hit something, but couldn’t even stand. Throwing something was the next best thing, but Arcadia moved the table out of his reach.

“What did you do?” Arcadia asked.

“I let it happen!” Jeremy shouted at him, his anger seemed forced now, desperate. As if Jeremy were trying to cling to it as his shield against whatever else was there. “I let it happen. Cause I needed to prove to him what I was saying was true! That they weren’t doctors! I knew...I let the wolf bite me so I’d be injured!”

Jeremy’s head slumped to his chest, his body wracking with quiet sobs while tears flooded his cheeks, falling to pool on the blanket. “I got myself injured to prove they weren’t doctors but he already knew! Now I’ve lost my foot and it was for nothing!”

TBC