The Fox and the Major

Posted on Sun Mar 31st, 2019 @ 2:57am by Civillian Shae & Major Jacob Asher

Mission: Interlude 1
Location: Project New Dawn + Jake's House
Timeline: Current

Jake sat by Shae’s bed and waited for her to wake up. They hadn’t had a chance to talk about what had happened, and not happened, between them. Just the thought of their encounter sent shivers up and down his spine. But he also remembered what she said to him about how she felt inside the mountain. He wanted to get her away from here, either to her home or his, where they could relax, be themselves, and talk and- best not to finish that thought at this point, Jake old boy.

Jake had closed the curtain, so no one could see them. He stood up and moved closer to the bed and gently stroked Shae’s hair, careful not to tickle her fox ears.

Shae’s ears flicked every now and then when he did tickle the sensitive hairs in them, but this did little to disturb her rest. Upon their return, she had her wounds retreated and was given a high dose of antibiotics and a treatment for rabies, and since both of these were new to her and making her woozy, the doctor wanted to keep her there for a little while for observation and so Shae settled in to rest. At least the shaking had finally abated, otherwise sleep would have evaded her completely.

“Kaa-san…” she said softly in her sleep, a tear trickling down her cheek. The gentle stroking of her hair reminded her of her mother, who would do the same for her when she was ill.

“Shh, Anata wa ima anzenda kitsunedesu,” Jake said. He probably pronounced most of that badly, but he’d been fascinated by anime as a kid and had begged and pleaded and done every chore he could think of until his parents bought him a Rosetta Stone Japanese 1 & 2 set. He got through it pretty well. Then September 11th happened and Japanese wasn’t the language he needed to know, so he set it aside. Since meeting Shae, he’d been using some Duolingo and Google Translate to remind himself what he’d learned and learn more. He was moving at a pretty good clip, so he was learning pretty fast.

His words seemed to calm her, allowing her to release some of the tension in her small frame that she had been hold onto even in her sleep. Maybe an hour or two later, she finally started to stir, shifting around in the uncomfortable medical bed to try to find a position that was more comfortable and failing miserably. Then her eyes opened and she saw Asher.

“Hello,” she said meekly, uncertain what else to say to him. She was still feeling fairly mortified by what had happened on the planet of the Lost Children, which was evident in the way she quickly averted her gaze from his.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Shae,” Jake said. “Not on my account, and pretending it didn’t happen is just going to make things awkward that don’t have to be.”

“Gomen, gomennasai,” Shae replied softly, still not looking at him. “It was just so terrifying and humiliating to not have any control over my transformation, and then to attract a pack of wolves to the camp… I know you don’t blame me for that, but it was still so mortifying that everyone knew.”

“Yeah,” Jake said. “I think Crow somehow thinks that was my fault. That it was some ungentlemanly thing that I did that caused you to go into heat and so on.” Jake looked at Shae a moment, his hand and fingers still stroking her hair. “I’m not sorry we were together. I wanted that every bit as much as you did. But if you feel that I took advantage of you, then I am so very truly sorry.”

“I don’t know how to feel about… that…” Shae responded, clearly uneasy with this subject. “I don’t think you took advantage of me, but… I’m not sure we should have done that, because now things have become complicated. I like you, Asher, I really do, and I feel safe around you, but I’m not sure if it’s right for us to be together like that. We are so different and I can’t help but feel like I should be with my own kind.”

Jake frowned. “First, I can deal with complicated, Shae. Second, I’m not afraid of different. The third, you have to make up your mind about that one all on your own. I can tell you how dumb I think that idea is, but then, I’m biased. I’m the non-Kitsune who wants to be with you.”

“But…” Shae said, beginning to sniffle as her emotions started to overwhelm her. “What if I change again while… you know…” she said with an embarrassed blush. “It took a long time for me to master my human shape while I was… in heat, and I don’t know if what happened on the planet was just because of the sickness machine or if it will happen again now that I am well.”

Jake grinned. “Is that all you’re worried about?” he said. “That’s a problem we can fix with time, compassion, understanding. Look, I know you hate it in the mountain. I have a place. It’s outside of the city, I can’t even see my nearest neighbor. It, ah, it belonged to a friend of mine. He was killed in a drawn out conflict that I’m not even sure I understand anymore. Anyway, his wife needed to sell the place, and I had the money, so I bought it. That was before I even knew I was coming here. I was setting it up as a vacation spot for myself, thought maybe I’d retire there. When I moved out here, I had it stocked and I had my stuff moved there until I find a place closer to town. When they let you out of here, why don’t you pack a bag and come out there with me? If you decide you’re uncomfortable sharing my bed, there’s more than one bedroom. And if you change...I’ll just tell anyone who sees you you’re a Finnish Spitz. It’s a dog breed that kind of looks like you do in fox form. We can talk, relax, listen to music, watch movies, and whatever else comes to mind. We’ve got the weekend off. Spend it with me, away from here.”

“Can we leave now?” Shae asked. “The medicine smell of this place makes my head hurt,” she added. Of course, it wasn’t the smell of the medicine, but rather the cleansers that kept the infirmary sterile, but she didn’t really understand that just yet.

“Sure,” Jake said. “Let’s just get you cleared to leave.” Jake got a doctor to give Shae a once over and then clear her, and him, to leave the base. “Okay,” he said. “I need to go grab a couple of things from my quarters here in the mountain, and I need to change out of this uniform. Want me to walk you back to your quarters first? Or do you just want to meet me at the elevator in… 30 minutes? Give me time to take a very fast shower and get dressed?”

“I think I can get back to my room without assistance,” Shae replied. Now that he had mentioned a shower, that did sound like a good idea, especially since she had been covered in wolf blood earlier. “Can you meet me at my room when you are done?” she asked.

“Sure thing,” Jake said. “See you in thirty. Remember, Colorado in the month of February is a bit Lethuan-like.” Jake walked to his quarters with a spring in his step. He quickly showered, shaved, and got dressed again. He made sure he had everything he needed, and then walked to Shae’s quarters. He had butterflies in his stomach and he had to keep telling himself not to have any expectations, to just take things as they came, but it wasn’t easy. When he got to Shae’s quarters, he knocked on the door. “Shae? It’s Asher.”

“Just a moment longer!” Shae called out. Her shower had taken a little longer than his, plus she had to rebandage herself and then figure out her confusing human clothing again. When she finally opened the door, the human-looking Shae was dressed in a sweater and some rugged pants, but her hair was still a bit of a mess, and she held out a prepackaged bandage to him. “Can you help me?” she asked. As she let him in, it appeared that she was otherwise ready to go as a packed bag and her coat were sitting on the end of her bed. “I can’t reach one of my bite wounds,” she explained as she lifted the back of her sweater, revealing that she was wearing nothing underneath it.

“Sure,” Jake said as he took the bandage and went to help her with the wound. The revelation that she was wearing nothing under her sweater made it difficult to concentrate on what he was doing. Luckily, applying a bandage to a wound didn’t require that his brain be getting it’s normal flow of blood, and he managed to do so without taping any of his fingers to Shae’s back. He did let his fingertips glide down her flank as he finished. He wasn’t sure who that touch affected more, him or her. “All done.”

Shae shivered as his touch lingered, but when it was over she quickly pulled her sweater back down, then grabbed her comb to tidy up her damp hair. Then she grabbed her stuff and they were on their way. “We will have to ride in one of those ‘auto’ things, right?” she asked as they made their way to the elevator.

“We will,” Jake said. “Here, let me grab that for you.” Jake said, taking Shae’s bag. ”Ree told me you weren’t too thrilled about that the last time. Don’t worry, I’ll drive carefully.” They got to the elevator and rode up to the surface and Jake took a breath of real air. “Finally. Outside. Okay, this way.” Jake led Shae to a black Toyota 4Runner. He opened the back and place her bag in, then opened the passenger door for her. “Ready? I promise I’ll make the drive as smooth as I can!”

“Oh, this one is so much bigger than the other auto!” Shae declared, staring at the truck warily like it was some wild beast ready to attack her. But she did eventually climb into the beast of a machine and settle in for the ride, although she had to be shown how to buckle her seat belt, again.

Jake got in and started the engine, which made Shae jump because it sounded like a roar! “Okay,” he said. “Here we go.” Jake got them to the gate and through Security and then they were on the road. They drove through some populated areas near the base, but were soon seeing fewer and fewer people as Jake got them headed towards their destination. “It’s pretty out here,” Jake said. “But after seeing Lethuan in winter, I’ve redefined my ideas on winter wonderlands.”

Shae chuckled, her attention focused on the scenery passing them by. “Yes, this certainly looks much more reasonable to traverse than the waist-high snow on Lethuan,” she remarked. “It is pretty, especially as we get away from all these buildings!” Of course the snow didn’t look nearly so pretty when people and cars had been slogging through the snow and making it all dirty! “Asher, I’m sorry if what I said earlier hurt you. You know, about being with another Kitsune… The risk of being with a human was simply too great until now; it is like what you said before, that change can be uncomfortable, even painful, so it has been difficult for me to accept that you care enough to overlook our differences.”

“It did hurt, Shae,” Jake said. “And I thank you for your apology. I also understand why you’re struggling with feeling that way and that you didn’t mean to be hurtful. I obviously don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I know that it’s hard for you to trust me or anyone for that matter. I’m just glad you’re willing to give me a chance, that you didn’t run away. You’re very brave, Shae, I figured that out about you not long after I met you. I don’t mean nothing scares you. I mean you’re brave because you don’t let your fears control you. Considering what you’ve been through, that’s incredibly impressive, Shae. Not everyone could do what you’ve done.”

Jake pulled off the road at a small general store of sorts. He smiled at Shae. “The meat they have brought in is all local and usually butchered fresh that day. I have some frozen stuff up there, but I think you’d prefer the fresh. Since I’m bringing home my favorite ravenous carnivore, I figure we should pick some up before we drive the final stretch. And there are some other things I should grab. Come on. You can pick out what you want.”

Now this was the kind of store that Shae could really get into! Approaching the butcher’s counter, Shae was like a kid in a candy store, all wide-eyed and full of wonder! They ordered a few things and while they waited for the butcher to prepare and wrap everything, they went around to pick up some fresh produce to go along with their meat. Shae was filled with such amazement at the convenience of having so many types of fresh food available in one place! Once they had enough to feed them for a couple of days, Jake paid and they loaded everything into his truck and then they were on their way!

Jake drove a up a trail into the forest until he came to a secluded piece of land with house at the center. And what a house!

“Yeah, I should have mentioned,” Jake said. “My friend inherited this place from relatives going back a ways, and they were a lot better off than he was. And no, the United States Air Force doesn’t pay me enough to afford this, either. I sort of came into some money a while back and I’ve been doing smart things with it ever since. So I was able to arrange to buy this place from his widow and when I get too old to run around galaxy fighting aliens, and if I don’t have any better offers, I think I might settle down here in what we call our ‘golden years’. Here, let me let you in and then I’ll bring everything in and start a fire in the fireplace.”

Jake let Shae in, turned on the lights, and let her look around. There were some personal effects, some photos. Some boxes that hadn’t been unpacked.

“Pardon the clutter,” Jake said. “I haven’t been able to spend much time here yet so there are still some things that I need to find places for. Anyway, make yourself at home, I’ll get everything brought in and put away.”

“Hai!” Shae replied in an upbeat and chipper tone as she helped him carry in their bags while he took care of the groceries and firewood. She set their things on the couch and looked around, and then while he was busy, she located a cloth and started dusting. It may have seemed strange to bring someone home and then have them start cleaning, but it felt perfectly natural to her, and it gave her a chance to really take in the few personal effects he had scattered around. She tended to each with care, especially the blades he had on a wall mount; he seemed quite possessive of the knife he carried with him, so she definitely didn’t want to damage his blades!

Jake was going to say something when he saw Shae start cleaning, but instead shrugged and built a fire that was soon roaring, warming up the room. Then he put all of the groceries away and took off his coat and boots and put them away, too. Jake walked up behind Shae and put his hands gently on her shoulders. “Here, let me take your jacket, and your boots. You’ll be more comfortable.” How does a woman that doesn’t use perfume or even shampoo with much scent in it, manage to smell so damned good?

“Thank you,” Shae said as she surrendered her jacket to him then sat down to take off her boots. “Actually, do you mind if I change? I did not think my kimono would be warm enough to go through the snow, but I would be most comfortable in that.”

“Sure,” Jake said. She looks so beautiful in that damned Kimono I’d build the biggest fire that could safely be built in this house just to see her in it again. “There are bedrooms upstairs if you want some privacy. Would you like me to start dinner?”

“I can come help you once I’m dressed,” Shae offered as she picked up her bag. Dinner did sound like a wonderful idea, because she was really looking forward to the ‘steaks’ he’d picked out!

Jake made a kind of dinner his mother might make, because it brought back good memories. He washed one sweet potato and one regular potato and put them in the oven...and then remembering what a bottomless pit Ree said Shae was when they took her out, he threw in another one of each. They weren’t huge and if they didn’t get eaten tonight, he’d heat them up tomorrow. He decided he’d roast the vegetables and broil the steaks. He seasoned them, but just enough to be flavorful and didn’t overdo it. He was concerned that Shae’s sharp sense of smell would make things too heavily seasoned unpleasant for her. He made sure not to put anything into any of the food that would be harmful to her. Soon the steaks were ready to go into the broiler and the vegetables into the oven. Jake let the potatoes cook a while. He’d throw the steaks and veggies in soon.

Shae returned just in time to not have anything to do because he had done all the prep work already! Padding down to the kitchen in her dragonfly kimono and maple leaf haori, and in her more comfortable hybrid form, she pouted when she realized he had already done everything. But at least it smelled good!

“It smells very inviting,” Shae said as she drew closer.

Jake’s breath was taken a way for a moment. He realized he was staring and grinned. “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to stare. You’re just so beautiful.” He shook his head. “Right. Dinner.” Jake threw things into where they needed to be thrown. Then he looked at Shae again. “Music? Your tablet should connect to the house sound system. I can set it up for you. Mine’s already connected so if you want Jazz, I can play something. If you have something in you’d like to listen to, my home is your home.”

“I found your jazz to be pleasing to listen to,” Shae replied. She was blushing slightly at his compliment, but said nothing about it. “I confess, I haven’t had much chance to listen to much of the music you put on my tablet. I’ve been more focused on reading and trying to learn more about your English so that I can understand it better.”

Jake picked up his tablet and selected Ahmad Jamal and music started playing. “Can I get you some tea? Nathan--General Wolf is always trying to get me to drink more tea. The man not only bought me a tea set, but keeps giving me teas to try. I think he’s wise to me being interested in you, not that I wasn’t pretty obvious. Anyway, he gave me a couple and said ‘and I think Shae would like these, not that what teas Shae likes would be of interest to you.’ Subtle, he isn’t.”

Shae chuckled at the little story. “Tea sounds nice, thank you,” she replied. “I cannot drink the dark tea, I think the doctor said it was because of a thing called caff-in, but light teas are fine.” She moved over to the table to sit down and enjoy the music playing. “So the Wolf General knows of your interest in me? Everyone else seems to know as well,” she said, blushing again. “I do not think Corvus likes that you show such interest in me.”

Jake scowled as he put on the kettle. “Corvus needs to mind his own damned business,” he said. “Sorry. That kid makes me really upset. His priorities are all out of whack and that makes him hard to trust. And of course the guy doesn’t trust me, either, hasn’t from the beginning, which means he’s always doing things above and beyond stupid just to keep me from being upset with him, which gets me even more upset with him.” Jake sighed. “I’ll talk to him later and see if I can set him straight. I might even listen to what he has to say for himself...provided it isn’t completely ridiculous. If you have any advice on how I might make that work out for the best, I’m all ears,” Jake said as he brought a couple of steaming mugs over to the table. And then he grinned. “Those ears aren’t as cute or as sharp as yours, but they’re capable of listening nonetheless.”

Shae wondered if he just really liked to see her blush, because his commenting had her blushing even deeper. She cleared her throat as she tried to suppress a small smile. “Please, do listen to him; he has good instincts to figure out that the medical people were not what they seemed,” she pointed out. For all his personality faults and her general dislike of him, Shae did think Corvus was still a very competent and capable soldier. “I’m sorry if I’ve brought up unpleasant things, I am simply self conscious about people being so aware of our personal business. On the many worlds I’ve been to, things like this are generally not-so-secret secrets, but they’re never talked about so openly, so it does make me a little uncomfortable,” she explained meekly.

“Shae,” Jake said. “You can tell me anything, say anything to me, and the only thing I ask is that you not abuse that privilege by being mean. And Nathan only made that comment to me, in his office, when we were alone. He would never, ever intentionally embarrass you, and neither would I.” Then Jake grinned. “Though I will admit I get a thrill out of giving you compliments when we’re alone and watching you blush.”

This made the color of her cheeks deepen even more. “I am unaccustomed to such attention,” Shae said, now slightly embarrassed with how hot her cheeks felt.

“I know,” Jake said. “And I know why. Please know that I’m not one of the people whose attention you’ve been trying to avoid all of your life. When you said you felt safe with me, Shae, that made my heart glad and I will do my level best to always be worthy of that trust.”

Just then, the food timer went off and Jake nearly jumped out of his skin. “Son of a--Ahem,” he said. “That’s dinner. Let me get everything together. I got so wrapped up in talking to you I forgot to set the table and...oh well, one thing at a time.” Jake quickly plated the food. Steak, vegetables, one half of a russet potato and one half of a sweet potato. He quickly brought them to the table, and in no time flat had a table complete with lit candles set, with the lights lowered just enough to make the candle light and the fire light enjoyable, without making it so dark that you didn’t know what you were eating until you put it in your mouth. He had a pitcher of water and two glasses on the table and filled the glasses. He looked at Shae. “Thank you, Little Fox, for coming home with me this weekend.”

“No, thank you,” Shae replied, smiling warmly. “This is a very welcomed change of scenery from the base. If you had not offered, I probably would have gone back to Lethuan until I was called in for another mission,” she admitted. And being here, it would be easier to return to the mountain if they were needed.

“That would have been a shame,” Jake said. “I would have missed you.” Jake smiled his winning smile at Shae. “Tomorrow we can explore the area around the property if you’d like. There are some marked hiking trails, though between the two of us, we could probably navigate without them. Still, the trails are nice and whenever I’m not stuck in the mountain, I like to get as much fresh air as I can.”

Eventually, they’d have to broach the uncomfortable subject of Shae wearing a collar and pretending to be a “Spitz Mix”, complete with “dog tags” when she was foxed out on Earth outside of the mountain. She could go off-lead around the property here and on most of the trails, especially because, unlike an actual dog, she could understand English and respond accordingly--if she was feeling like being cooperative.

“You would have been more than welcome to visit me on Lethuan,” Shae said as she started on her meal. She had to take a minute to remember how to use the knife and fork like Ree and Selyna had shown her, but she was managing without making a fool of herself. “So, why did you decide to join the Stargate program? It just seems like such a strange thing to do since the concept of alien life is so foreign on your world.”

Jake chuckled. “I didn’t decide anything,” he said. “My government is sometimes referred to as ‘Uncle Sam’. In the military, sometimes Uncle Sam asks you where you want to go, other times, a lot of times, he just tells you. Uncle Sam, in the form of the Personnel Office of the United States Air Force told me to pack my things and take a ride to Cheyenne Mountain and report for duty there. So I packed my things, took a ride to Cheyenne Mountain, and reported in for duty. Still, if I had been told what the job was, after I got past the various stages of utter disbelief, I’d like to think I would have willingly jumped at the chance.”

Shae nodded as she listened, then suddenly her eyes went wide. The steak! She had never tasted anything quite like this, it was so juicy and it practically melted in her mouth! She released a soft sigh of utter contentment, then quickly gobbled up another bite. “Many worlds are like that; soldiers have little choice in where they must go or who they must fight. In fact, on most worlds, men do not have a choice if they want to be soldiers or not, it is expected of them. But that is not the case here, right? Why did you choose to be a soldier?”

Jake nodded. “Technically, the government can institute a draft of eligible...wow, you know, I think even these days the draft only applies to eligible males. I guess I’m going to have to write to my representative and complain. Anyway, technically the government can institute a draft, but compulsory military service ended almost fifty years ago. What that’s meant for the military is that it needs to provide fairly good incentives to get people to join. The benefits and the pay don’t always add up the way their supposed to, and there are a lot of bitter veterans. But a lot of the free training and educational opportunities, even for the enlisted personnel like Jeremy and Ree, are pretty damn good. Jeremy and Ree are particularly lucky to be in the Air Force. Their medical certifications are the same as they would need to practice in civilian life. Not all of the services offer that. Also, enlisted service, not officers like me, but enlisted personnel like Jeremy and Ree, it comes with not only free training opportunities, and free educational opportunities, but actual money above your salary that you use for education and training at civilian institutions, either while you’re still in the service or after you get out. The medical benefits are good, and there are other perks, like the Air Force pays for your food on base and, if you need to live off base, they give you a food and even a housing allowance.”

“That sounds quite enlightened,” Shae said with an approving nod. But she could definitely see how this could translate into ‘bitter veterans’ since his continent- no, country, was so big, it made sense that such a large system would have some issues here and there, not to mention she had learned that there were other branches of service besides the Airforce, which meant a lot of different ways that the system could be inefficient. Still, it was a source of awe for her. “But you haven’t told me why you joined,” she pointed out.

“Oh,” Jake said. “Sorry. Got caught up in the other part of my answer. So… okay.” Jake sighed. “When I was seventeen years old, so almost eighteen years ago, some very bad people attacked my country in a way that we had never been attacked before. They took control of several large passenger aircraft and crashed them into two large buildings housing the center of our country’s financial activities, and a third one into the building that houses the military headquarters of our country. A fourth plane was intended to be used in the attack, but the passengers tried to retake the plane and in the struggle, the plane crashed before it reached its intended target. All told, they killed almost 3000 people. They weren’t soldiers of any particular country. They were what we call terrorists. Because they didn’t have a country, we couldn’t, at first, declare war on any particular country in return. But we figured out what country was offering their group a home, and we hit that country. I was in shock, at first, like a lot of people. Then I got angry. I was too young to join up at the time, so I finished my secondary education. My parents convinced me to try and become an officer, probably because that would take longer and they hoped the conflict would be over by then. So they were happy when the Air Force Academy here in Colorado told me I had to do an extra year of preparation before they’d let me into the main Academy. And yet, five years later, the conflict was still going on.” Jake took a drink of his water. “You see, the problem with declaring war on terrorism instead of war on a country, is that countries can be defeated or forced to surrender. They can be negotiated with. You can’t negotiate with a concept of warfare. Worse, the people that practice terrorism are most often zealots and fanatics and even if they weren’t, they get more out of the people they’re trying to help NOT getting what they want from us. That way they’re good and angry and can be radicalized. Zealotry and fanaticism aren’t ever really going to be eradicated. When you put down one group, two more sprout up. There’s plenty in the world to be angry about and plenty of people ready to tell the angry people who’s to blame for their problems. We’ve stepped back quite a bit, but we’re still somewhat involved in the places we went looking for terrorists, because we made a mess when we went hunting there. I’m not saying we haven’t accomplished anything or that fighting these kinds of people is wrong. I guess I’m just saying we need a better solution. Unfortunately, no one has figured out what that is yet.”

“I’m all too familiar with how zealotry and fanaticism can affect the landscape of a war; the sad part is, the zealots in my case, the Goa’uld, have grown to such power that it’s impossible to wage war against them…” Shae replied. And the Goa’uld certainly could not be negotiated with… “But it sounds like your reasons for joining the fight were admirable. After having been a soldier for so long, do you have any regrets for the paths not taken, or are you happy as a soldier?” she asked.

“I don’t take pleasure in taking other people’s lives,” Jake said. “But I do take pride in doing my job well. Which means I would really like a mission to go our way soon or I’m going to start to wonder what I’m doing this for. But I’m not giving up just yet. We have a saying here. Somedays you get the bear, somedays the bear gets you. I’d say our last two missions went to the bear, but the two before that brought us you and Jessica, so I’d say the bear and I are running about even at this point. I’m thinking the bear has an ass whipping coming its way.”

Shae giggled at his analogy of the bear, and somehow found it to be quite fitting, especially since she lived among really big bears and had even hunted a few regular sized bears, so the meaning really did hit home.

“I think I’d like to give this bear a piece of my mind as well,” Shae said with amusement. “I dislike killing as well, but my life comes from the sacrifice of others, even if it is just the occasional deer or bear for sustenance. I’m a predator, it’s simply a part of what it is to be Kitsune, but I certainly don’t glorify the hunt like some others might. It is what it is, as is the need to protect myself as I’ve searched for my family,” she went on with a wistful gaze. Then she smiled with a hint of a forced laugh. “Before I met you and came through your gate, I was actually considering giving up the search. It had been so long and I just wanted to live in peace with no more Goa’ulds in my life… I think that’s another reason I’ve been the way I am; I’ve been angry at myself for even considering giving up the search, but I’ve also been so at odds with the choice to join you because I really am tired of having to fight. I know it’s something I’ll get over eventually, and if I am to fight, it is better to have companions that I can trust to have my back, and with all of you to help me in my search I am starting to hope again.”

“Well,” Jake said. “As cute as you are when you pout, hope is a lot more attractive on you than anger. And again, it means a lot to me that you trust me, because I know that’s hard for you. And when and where I can, I will help you try and find your people.” Jake looked at how much steak Shae had already put away. He grinned. “Can I assume you like the steak?”

“Mmm, yes, I like it very much!” Shae declared with a big smile. Of course, she had yet to touch the baked potatoes, each prepared so deliciously, so she was about to discover another item to add to her long list of favorite Tau’ri foods. “Your Earth foods are quite peculiar to me, but they are very tasty! Especially the food prepared by the Mother Edith! I have been meaning to meet her, but other things happen to make me forget,” she said around the last bite of her steak. It was then that she finally turned her attention to the potatoes. The sweet potato was quite familiar, but the way it was roasted with butter and brown sugar made it smell decadently mouth-watering! And then the other potato had something orange melted on it, like this cheese stuff she had eaten on a breakfast muffin, although she was thoroughly confused about the dollop of creamy white stuff sitting on top… Uncertain with how she was supposed to eat these things, she set her utensils down and picked up the half a russet potato to bite into it like it was an apple, and in the process she ended up with some sour cream on the tip of her nose. “Oishii!” she exclaimed, then went for another bite!

Jake chuckled as he watched Shae eat. He was going to say something about the sour cream on her nose, but he was so mesmerized by the look of joy on her face as she attacked the potato that he decided he’d give her a second to enjoy herself. Finally, he handed her his napkin. “Here, Little Fox. You’re wearing almost as much of that potato as you’re getting in your mouth.” Jake got up from his seat and went over to Shae to help her out. We he got to her, the thought of kissing all of that off of her face flashed through his mind, a sure sign that while he was intellectually and even for the most part emotionally okay with what happened between them, or more specifically what happened for her and not for him, his body still needed that release.

Sensing arousal was not as simple as a scent one gave off, but rather a combination of things. She had been somewhat aware of excitement in him, which had been rather ambiguous in and of itself, but now he was giving off signs she could not ignore, from the racing of his heart to the intensity of his gaze, and his scent was growing so much stronger.

“You are looking at me as though you wish to devour me,” Shae remarked softly as he helped her clean her face.

Jake didn’t say anything, but after he’d gotten the last of the food off of her face, he tenderly touched her cheek, then then pulled her to her feet and kissed her. Even without being in heat, Shae made Jake feel like he was twenty-one again.

Shae was so shy and tentative as their lips met; back on the planet of the Lost Children, being in heat had stripped away much of her nervousness and inhibitions, and now without her heat to embolden her, she was almost afraid to respond to his kiss. But he tasted so good, and not just because he’d just eaten a delicious meal!

“Are you sure it is me you want…” she said softly against his lips when they parted for air. Her feelings of doubt and self-worth were really pestering her. “There is no one else in the world you would rather be with?”

“Yes,” Jake said, forcing his throat and vocal chords to work and sounding a little hoarse. “Yes, yes, and yes!” He pulled her close. “I think I know how we can both...enjoy ourselves more this time around, at least hold off the change until both of us get what we need. I’m ready to try if you are.”

Shae wasn’t sure she was ready; it had been so much easier to do this when she thought she was dying! “I’m a little scared,” she admitted, her ears drooping as she averted her gaze in shame.

Jake lovingly turned Shae’s face up so she was looking at him and tenderly touched her cheek. “Then we’ll go slow, take our time. You smell fantastic and your scent is definitely having an effect on me, but I don’t feel like you’re giving off the level of pheromones you were giving off on the planet, so I’m not practically pawing the floor like before. Neither of us thinks we’re about to die. No one is going to walk in on us here. We have lots of time. We can go up stairs and take things much slower than before. How does that sound?”

“Would you be offended if I wanted to finish my potato first?” Shae asked sheepishly, blushing. “It is very tasty.”

Jake chuckled. “That’s my Little Fox,” he said. “Sure. I’ll run upstairs and get a fire started in the Master Bedroom, then I’ll come back down and clean up.” Jake kissed Shae again and winked at her, and then headed up the stairs.

Shae smiled with embarrassment, but it was a smile nonetheless, and she sat down to eat a little more. She looked over to his plate to see how he’d cut up his potato so she didn’t make a mess again, and after a few unintelligible expletives, she figured out how to navigate the loaded baked potato without covering herself in it. When Jake came back down to clean up, she was watching him like a hawk; she felt she had a better appreciation of him as a person now that she knew why he became a soldier. He was a protector, a defender, and it felt appropriate for what else she knew of him and her personality. He was a good man, she could do so much worse, but why was she still so riddled with doubt? Perhaps it was simply as he said, that she had been alone for so long that she didn’t know how to be anything else, but she didn’t like entertaining this ‘relationship’ with so much doubt, it made her feel as though she might be taking advantage of him. And… what if they couldn’t be together because she’d change again? That hardly seemed fair! But he did say he had an idea, so she was willing to see where this idea went; if nothing else, she had all the curiosity that Kitsune were known for.

After finishing as much of her meal as she could, she brought her plate into the kitchen where Jake was cleaning up, and while he washed she dried. Once they were done, Jake scooped her little form up in his strong arms and proceeded to carry her up to the bedroom.